Yellow Baby?

Jaundice is evil and is destroying my life. Seriously.

So in the hospital, the last day I was in, they said that Arielle looked a little pale. They did a blood test, and her bilirubin level was high – 11.7. Not horrible, but almost high enough to keep her in the hospital after I was allowed to go home. So at her first doctor appointment on Tuesday, when she was a week old, they did another blood test because she was very yellow at that point. 15.1. Great. They told me to feed her every two hours during the day and every three “or so” at night to try to flush her system out, twenty to thirty minutes per feeding. Two days later, at today’s appointment, she’d gained more weight than she needed to, so she was obviously eating well, and she looked more pink and less yellow, so I figured today’s blood test would be the last one. Which would be great, because I’m starting to feel like these people have mistaken my baby for a pincushion.

15.8 with a direct of 1.5 (really bad, in other words).

So I get to take her to the doctor for another blood test tomorrow, and they said to leave Saturday morning open for another blood test as well, since she’ll probably have to have another one then. I’m to keep her in indirect sunlight as much as possible, and I’m banned from breastfeeding until her bili goes down. That’s the part I really hate. I kind of complained a little about breastfeeding; my breasts hurt and everything, and I was starting to feel a little like a milk cow, but there was a real feeling of closeness with her when I fed her that I don’t feel now when I feed her from a bottle, and it just makes me so sad. I cried when I gave Ari her first bottle. Then there’s the fact that she doesn’t seem to like formula as much, and she doesn’t want as much as they want her to have, so I’m spending an hour at each feeding trying to force-feed my daughter. I can’t wait until this is over, but it’s going to be hard until it is. I mean, right now the schedule is: feed her for an hour, wait an hour, feed her an hour, wait an hour, and so on and so on. That’s going to suck at night. Actually, since I won’t be breastfeeding, I’ll probably just have absurd amounts of caffeine and pick up smoking again (I haven’t had a cigarette in weeks) to stay awake. There’s no point in sleeping thirty, forty-five minutes at a time, and I’d probably sleep through the alarm if I tried to nap in between feedings.

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